Now I know that Hollywood produces works of fiction, and takes very extensive liberties with any actual facts upon which a story might be based, but I've just seen on the hotel television a report about the new film Anonymous which said that Sony Pictures were intending to send out "information packs" to schools to promote its release.
Not only did the reporter not point out how far from reality the film's basis actually is, she actually suggested that it was based on a credible theory which hadn't been disproved.
Well, let me have a go, and this is without even trying very hard...
The film advances the claim that Shakespeare’s works were written by Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford, who died in 1604. This was before 12 of Shakespeare’s plays were written, a year prior to the Gunpowder Plot alluded to in Macbeth, and five years before the Sea Venture ran aground off Bermuda and inspired The Tempest.
And that's without even trying to pull apart the "possibility" that De Vere put his own name to comparatively poor poetry while submitting works of genius behind an alias to a rival’s theatre company...
Quick (and admittedly not triangulated) research on Google tells me that the originator of this unintellectual drivel is an aptly named J.Thomas Looney, but unfortunately the stuff our schools might be getting won't come with a Looney Tunes label on the cover, just something that says it's "supporting education".
Thursday, 27 October 2011
Friday, 21 October 2011
Capital (ism) in action
Walking back to Kings Cross after the HEFCE/AoC Additional Numbers workshop yesterday, I passed the latest tented village to spring up on the streets of our capital: the one apparently welcomed by Giles Fraser, the Canon Chancellor of St Paul’s Cathedral when the Occupy London Stock Exchange protesters gathered at the start of the week.
Now though, with the Evening Standard claiming that this national icon could be closed due to health and safety issues, he's not quite so keen. The position has rapidly moved on from his only telling the police to go away (Monday) to complaining that tourists are no longer visiting his Baroque masterpiece (Thursday) and therefore aren't contributing to its upkeep. Or to put it in free market terms: no visitors equals nothing spent in the gift shop, no food bought in the restaurant, and no donations from those with
change to spare.
The free paper also includes an interview with Naomi Colvin, spokesperson for the protesters, who says that money might be raised to compensate the church for its losses, but she's obviously not bothered to think through how much needs to be put into the collecting tin to balance the lost income of one of the ten most popular tourist attractions in the country.
This is capitalism in action: it's not slogans, protests and collective sleepovers, it's a businessman (for that's effectively what Canon Fraser is) unable to predict the effect of 200 demonstrators outside his door on passing trade, customer access and turnover, and a well-meaning motley crew closing him down because of his naivety.
Leads me to wonder, that since neither of the parties involved seem to understand what they've got themselves into, maybe they ought to start charging the likes of me to take photographs of the tents and possibly sell some refreshments while they're doing it?
Then, they could simply give the money raised to the church and everybody would be happy; except possibly protesters protesting about protester's profiteering...
Now though, with the Evening Standard claiming that this national icon could be closed due to health and safety issues, he's not quite so keen. The position has rapidly moved on from his only telling the police to go away (Monday) to complaining that tourists are no longer visiting his Baroque masterpiece (Thursday) and therefore aren't contributing to its upkeep. Or to put it in free market terms: no visitors equals nothing spent in the gift shop, no food bought in the restaurant, and no donations from those with
change to spare.The free paper also includes an interview with Naomi Colvin, spokesperson for the protesters, who says that money might be raised to compensate the church for its losses, but she's obviously not bothered to think through how much needs to be put into the collecting tin to balance the lost income of one of the ten most popular tourist attractions in the country.
This is capitalism in action: it's not slogans, protests and collective sleepovers, it's a businessman (for that's effectively what Canon Fraser is) unable to predict the effect of 200 demonstrators outside his door on passing trade, customer access and turnover, and a well-meaning motley crew closing him down because of his naivety.
Leads me to wonder, that since neither of the parties involved seem to understand what they've got themselves into, maybe they ought to start charging the likes of me to take photographs of the tents and possibly sell some refreshments while they're doing it?
Then, they could simply give the money raised to the church and everybody would be happy; except possibly protesters protesting about protester's profiteering...
Wednesday, 28 September 2011
To Beeb or not to Beeb, was there a question?
Visiting my father yesterday on the way back from another post-presentation trans-pennine drive, I was amused (and sceptical!) to learn that the BBC had decided to ban the use of BC and AD in favour of the more pensioner-confusing terms BCE (Before Common Era) and CE (Common Era).
Evidently, the front page of his Mail on Sunday displayed the banner headline "BBC turns its back on year of Our Lord" and followed it with claims that executives at the public broadcaster had banned the use of the dating terms and insisted that they be replaced with more "politically correct" ones. As I'm sure you'd agree, this would be an impressive feat even for an organisation with the Beeb's influence, but could it really "jettison 2,000 years of history"?
Well, er, no, as actually reading to the last paragraph makes clear via a spokesperson from the broadcaster...
"The BBC has not issued editorial guidance on the date systems. Both AD and BC, and CE and BCE are widely accepted date systems and the decision on which term to use lies with individual production and editorial teams."
So where did this "story" come from and why does the Mail want to castigate the Corporation for simply saying that two dating systems are common and staff can use whichever they prefer? The BBC's "politically correct, Europhile agenda" is cited as the cause, although how either has any relevance is utterly beyond me. It's not exactly an adherence to "political correctness" to tell people that they can use whatever words they like, and no stretch of my imagination can get even close to any reason why or how Europe might fit in.
As it happens, only a minimal amount of research is necessary to ascertain where the story started, but quite why it's developed into incoherent rage is much more of a puzzle.
On the Frequently Asked Questions page part of the BBC Religion religion website there's a bit saying:
"In line with modern practice bbc.co.uk/religion uses BCE/CE (Before Common Era/Common Era) as a religiously neutral alternative to BC/AD. As the BBC is committed to impartiality it is appropriate that we use terms that do not offend or alienate non-Christians."
a paragraph which is basically talking only about the BBC Religion web site, not making statements about BBC-wide policy, and has probably been there for some considerable time as there's nothing at all to indicates that this is some new rule.
Indeed, as the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority guidelines say "CE/BCE is becoming an industry standard among historians," and "pupils have to be able to recognise these terms when they come across them", why should the BBC be only now issuing edicts about the use of terminology that's been around for over 150 years?
Going back only a week, one of the Mail on Sunday columnists has written in a review of University Challenge that "Jeremy Paxman referred to a date as being Common Era, rather than AD. This nasty formulation is designed to write Christianity out of our culture."
This was followed on Saturday by a piece entitled "How the BBC fell for a Marxist plot to destroy civilisation from within" which links the above irritation to the BBC's website FAQ page (that's how I found it!) and proclaims
"No longer will [The BBC's] website refer to those bigoted, Christian-centric concepts AD (as in Anno Domini – the Year of Our Lord) and BC (Before Christ). From now on, it will use initials which strip our traditional Gregorian calendar of its offensive religious context. All reference to Christ has been expunged, replaced by the terms CE (Common Era) and BCE (Before Common Era)."
So by the time we get to Sunday, a columnist's trivial annoyance with a quiz show, a BBC FAQ and some incoherent rantings built on non-existent foundations have evolved into a full-page story which has fuelled over 1,500 on-line comments from Mail readers (mainly) unable to read past a headline!
Evidently, the front page of his Mail on Sunday displayed the banner headline "BBC turns its back on year of Our Lord" and followed it with claims that executives at the public broadcaster had banned the use of the dating terms and insisted that they be replaced with more "politically correct" ones. As I'm sure you'd agree, this would be an impressive feat even for an organisation with the Beeb's influence, but could it really "jettison 2,000 years of history"?
Well, er, no, as actually reading to the last paragraph makes clear via a spokesperson from the broadcaster...
"The BBC has not issued editorial guidance on the date systems. Both AD and BC, and CE and BCE are widely accepted date systems and the decision on which term to use lies with individual production and editorial teams."
So where did this "story" come from and why does the Mail want to castigate the Corporation for simply saying that two dating systems are common and staff can use whichever they prefer? The BBC's "politically correct, Europhile agenda" is cited as the cause, although how either has any relevance is utterly beyond me. It's not exactly an adherence to "political correctness" to tell people that they can use whatever words they like, and no stretch of my imagination can get even close to any reason why or how Europe might fit in.
As it happens, only a minimal amount of research is necessary to ascertain where the story started, but quite why it's developed into incoherent rage is much more of a puzzle.
On the Frequently Asked Questions page part of the BBC Religion religion website there's a bit saying:
"In line with modern practice bbc.co.uk/religion uses BCE/CE (Before Common Era/Common Era) as a religiously neutral alternative to BC/AD. As the BBC is committed to impartiality it is appropriate that we use terms that do not offend or alienate non-Christians."
a paragraph which is basically talking only about the BBC Religion web site, not making statements about BBC-wide policy, and has probably been there for some considerable time as there's nothing at all to indicates that this is some new rule.
Indeed, as the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority guidelines say "CE/BCE is becoming an industry standard among historians," and "pupils have to be able to recognise these terms when they come across them", why should the BBC be only now issuing edicts about the use of terminology that's been around for over 150 years?
Going back only a week, one of the Mail on Sunday columnists has written in a review of University Challenge that "Jeremy Paxman referred to a date as being Common Era, rather than AD. This nasty formulation is designed to write Christianity out of our culture."
This was followed on Saturday by a piece entitled "How the BBC fell for a Marxist plot to destroy civilisation from within" which links the above irritation to the BBC's website FAQ page (that's how I found it!) and proclaims
"No longer will [The BBC's] website refer to those bigoted, Christian-centric concepts AD (as in Anno Domini – the Year of Our Lord) and BC (Before Christ). From now on, it will use initials which strip our traditional Gregorian calendar of its offensive religious context. All reference to Christ has been expunged, replaced by the terms CE (Common Era) and BCE (Before Common Era)."
So by the time we get to Sunday, a columnist's trivial annoyance with a quiz show, a BBC FAQ and some incoherent rantings built on non-existent foundations have evolved into a full-page story which has fuelled over 1,500 on-line comments from Mail readers (mainly) unable to read past a headline!
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
Beware: Ninja Tellys!
After a six hour train journey, I'm now sat in a central Oxford hotel watching television before retiring for the night, a pastime that I've always thought relaxing but according to an article in today's Times is actually hazardous to my health ("TV is as harmful as smoking"). Indeed, every hour spent slumped in front of the box is as "serious a public health problem as smoking or obesity" and can reduce the viewer's life expectancy by 22 minutes, or in other words, you'll live 5 years less if you watch TV for 6 hours a day.
So does that magic box in the corner of the room emit some previously secret carcinogenic rays?
Does a seemingly endless stream of reality drivel, soap operas and gameshows have an adverse affect on the will to live?
Nope, "research" published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine has compared the mortality rates of couch potato Australians with those who had "more active lifestyles". Then, after doing a few sums, the University of Queensland "experts" worked out that every hour spent glued to the screen shortened life by 21.8 minutes, and the "top 1 per cent of the population who watch six hours of programmes a day can expect to live 4.8 years less than a person who does not watch TV”.
So that's not a slow-acting electric assassin in the corner of the room after all. Not only will it not kill me, it won't even reduce my life expectancy, because all these "researchers" have actually done is correlate some data which shows that more active people tend to live longer. Wow!
On the other hand, the report also quotes a Lancet article claiming that "as little as 15 minutes of physical activity every day can increase lifespan by three years", which by my calculations means that I only need to do around 3 minutes of exercise for every hour's telly watching and they'll cancel each other out.
Fortunately for the reputation of the academic community as a whole, and as the participants in tomorrow's scholarly activity workshop will be told at 10.00am, getting your work published isn't quite like Homer Simpson once said, "Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true....."
So does that magic box in the corner of the room emit some previously secret carcinogenic rays?
Does a seemingly endless stream of reality drivel, soap operas and gameshows have an adverse affect on the will to live?
Nope, "research" published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine has compared the mortality rates of couch potato Australians with those who had "more active lifestyles". Then, after doing a few sums, the University of Queensland "experts" worked out that every hour spent glued to the screen shortened life by 21.8 minutes, and the "top 1 per cent of the population who watch six hours of programmes a day can expect to live 4.8 years less than a person who does not watch TV”.
So that's not a slow-acting electric assassin in the corner of the room after all. Not only will it not kill me, it won't even reduce my life expectancy, because all these "researchers" have actually done is correlate some data which shows that more active people tend to live longer. Wow!
On the other hand, the report also quotes a Lancet article claiming that "as little as 15 minutes of physical activity every day can increase lifespan by three years", which by my calculations means that I only need to do around 3 minutes of exercise for every hour's telly watching and they'll cancel each other out.
Fortunately for the reputation of the academic community as a whole, and as the participants in tomorrow's scholarly activity workshop will be told at 10.00am, getting your work published isn't quite like Homer Simpson once said, "Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true....."
Wednesday, 27 July 2011
Skullduggery
Today's BBC Science website headlines the revelation that anthropologists from Oxford University have examined 55 human skulls from various parts of the world and concluded that we in the North have bigger brains than those who hail from the South.
According to lead author Eiluned Pearce: "We found a positive relationship between absolute latitude ... and cranial capacity" which suggests that a few tens of thousands of years peering through the gloom of long winters and brief springs has enlarged northern brains in the same sort of way that a series of gym sessions is likely to increase the size of one's biceps/pectorals/deltoids/etc.
The Royal Society's Biology Letters journal goes on to say that this hasn't necessarily made Northerners more intelligent, however, it is now over 200 years since Canon Sydney Smith, Dean of St. Paul's Cathedral (born in Woodford, Essex but obviously in possession of something akin to a Big Northern Brain) pre-empted the team's doubts on the matter by saying:
"Never ask a man if he comes from Yorkshire. If he does, he will tell you. If he does not, why humiliate him?".
Of course, it's now only natural modesty which prevents me speculating as to whether or not next week's news might confirm the Pope's religion or enlighten us on what bears do in the woods....
According to lead author Eiluned Pearce: "We found a positive relationship between absolute latitude ... and cranial capacity" which suggests that a few tens of thousands of years peering through the gloom of long winters and brief springs has enlarged northern brains in the same sort of way that a series of gym sessions is likely to increase the size of one's biceps/pectorals/deltoids/etc.
The Royal Society's Biology Letters journal goes on to say that this hasn't necessarily made Northerners more intelligent, however, it is now over 200 years since Canon Sydney Smith, Dean of St. Paul's Cathedral (born in Woodford, Essex but obviously in possession of something akin to a Big Northern Brain) pre-empted the team's doubts on the matter by saying:
"Never ask a man if he comes from Yorkshire. If he does, he will tell you. If he does not, why humiliate him?".
Of course, it's now only natural modesty which prevents me speculating as to whether or not next week's news might confirm the Pope's religion or enlighten us on what bears do in the woods....
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
The Truth is Out There. Somewhere. Probably. Maybe...
I'm currently at Loughborough University engaging in discussions as how to teach students to draw coherent conclusions from their research; something that you'd expect to be second nature to anyone with a professorship.
However, earlier today we learnt on one of the breakfast television programmes that for Professor Andrei Finkelstein, of Russia’s Applied Astronomy Institute, normal rules of academic rigour don't appear to apply. He's observed that since we didn’t know of any exoplanets (planets orbiting other stars) at all twenty years ago, and have now found more than 500 of them, the chances are that stars without any planets are the exception not the rule. This "logic" has led him to conclude that "earthlike" planets (i.e. smallish, rocky and orbiting well-behaved stars at a reasonable distance) are probably extremely common in the universe and therefore life must be everywhere: leading to either an "inevitable" contact with an alien civilisation or the discovery of alien microbes, at the very least, within the next 20 years.
Quite why Pr Finkelstein has concluded that the possible existence of small rocky planets with water-friendly surface temperatures etc means that "the genesis of life is as inevitable as the formation of atoms", wasn't revealed, nor were any tips regarding the solving of science's greatest mysteries:
In short, while our knowledge of the stars and planets grows daily, what we actually know about life, how it comes about, or even what it really is hasn't moved on very much from the dark age superstitions that a Sky Fairy did it.
The idea that Earth is unique in some way might well fit in with these primitive beliefs, and is a yet-to-be-discounted possibility, but statements of certainty about alien life are currently nothing more than wishful thinking and need to be filed in the pseudoscience box until ET turns up and says that his dad sent him!
However, earlier today we learnt on one of the breakfast television programmes that for Professor Andrei Finkelstein, of Russia’s Applied Astronomy Institute, normal rules of academic rigour don't appear to apply. He's observed that since we didn’t know of any exoplanets (planets orbiting other stars) at all twenty years ago, and have now found more than 500 of them, the chances are that stars without any planets are the exception not the rule. This "logic" has led him to conclude that "earthlike" planets (i.e. smallish, rocky and orbiting well-behaved stars at a reasonable distance) are probably extremely common in the universe and therefore life must be everywhere: leading to either an "inevitable" contact with an alien civilisation or the discovery of alien microbes, at the very least, within the next 20 years.
Quite why Pr Finkelstein has concluded that the possible existence of small rocky planets with water-friendly surface temperatures etc means that "the genesis of life is as inevitable as the formation of atoms", wasn't revealed, nor were any tips regarding the solving of science's greatest mysteries:
- how, or where did life begin on Earth (although we have some idea as to the when?
- has biogenesis happened once, twice, many times, and is it still going on today?
- does the existence of one biosphere preclude the emergence of another one?
In short, while our knowledge of the stars and planets grows daily, what we actually know about life, how it comes about, or even what it really is hasn't moved on very much from the dark age superstitions that a Sky Fairy did it.
The idea that Earth is unique in some way might well fit in with these primitive beliefs, and is a yet-to-be-discounted possibility, but statements of certainty about alien life are currently nothing more than wishful thinking and need to be filed in the pseudoscience box until ET turns up and says that his dad sent him!
Friday, 10 June 2011
28 Hours Later
I'm glad to report that yesterday's trip to Leicester to deliver a series of critical thinking workshops was completely untroubled by the zombie invasions which the local authority has today admitted that it is not prepared for.
Apparently, a recent Freedom of Information request by a "concerned citizen" asks of of the City Council :
"Can you please let us know what provisions you have in place in the event of a zombie invasion? Having watched several films it is clear that preparation for such an event is poor and one that councils throughout the kingdom must prepare for.
Please provide any information you may have."
Lynn Wyeth, head of information governance, responded by saying that she was unaware of any specific reference to a zombie attack in the council's emergency plan, however some elements of it could be applied if the situation arose.
Nice to know, but as there's even been an official reply to this stupidity, I'm betting that it won't be long before some Health and Safety obsessed jobsworth insists that people like me incorporate dealing with the walking dead into our pre-workshop introduction along with what to do if the fire alarm goes off...
Apparently, a recent Freedom of Information request by a "concerned citizen" asks of of the City Council :
"Can you please let us know what provisions you have in place in the event of a zombie invasion? Having watched several films it is clear that preparation for such an event is poor and one that councils throughout the kingdom must prepare for.
Please provide any information you may have."
Lynn Wyeth, head of information governance, responded by saying that she was unaware of any specific reference to a zombie attack in the council's emergency plan, however some elements of it could be applied if the situation arose.
Nice to know, but as there's even been an official reply to this stupidity, I'm betting that it won't be long before some Health and Safety obsessed jobsworth insists that people like me incorporate dealing with the walking dead into our pre-workshop introduction along with what to do if the fire alarm goes off...
Monday, 23 May 2011
Twitter, to who said the howl of the Democrat
I'm somewhat coincidentally in a Birmingham hotel, a city partly represented by the Liberal Democrat MP John Hemming who today ended the increasingly farcical situation that forbade the media, but pretty much no-one else, from naming Ryan Giggs as a footballer with an injunction covering his alleged extra-marital affair(s).
Hemming's critics, and there were many at tonight's conference dinner who derided him as hungry for publicity, should appreciate that he didn't name Giggs last month, or last week, but has only done it after the weekend's Twitter explosion in response to the footballer's legal team's clumsy and ill-considered attempt to draw attention to alleged online breaches of the injunction, and after Scotland's Sunday Herald had turned the court order into an international joke.
This afternoon's revelation has generated a great deal of interest in the story, but as I understand the situation it's only slightly less ridiculous than it was this morning. Then, I could easily discover the basic facts surrounding the case, but couldn't write about it. Now, I still can't actually name the subject of the injunction as the so-called super injunction prevents it, but I can describe today's parliamentary proceedings and legally blog to the world that an MP today named the footballer Ryan Giggs as the subject of that injunction!
Not even Edward Lear could come up with nonsense to rival this; the lunatics really have taken control of the asylum!
Hemming's critics, and there were many at tonight's conference dinner who derided him as hungry for publicity, should appreciate that he didn't name Giggs last month, or last week, but has only done it after the weekend's Twitter explosion in response to the footballer's legal team's clumsy and ill-considered attempt to draw attention to alleged online breaches of the injunction, and after Scotland's Sunday Herald had turned the court order into an international joke.This afternoon's revelation has generated a great deal of interest in the story, but as I understand the situation it's only slightly less ridiculous than it was this morning. Then, I could easily discover the basic facts surrounding the case, but couldn't write about it. Now, I still can't actually name the subject of the injunction as the so-called super injunction prevents it, but I can describe today's parliamentary proceedings and legally blog to the world that an MP today named the footballer Ryan Giggs as the subject of that injunction!
Not even Edward Lear could come up with nonsense to rival this; the lunatics really have taken control of the asylum!
Friday, 13 May 2011
New Bond-Style Super-Villain Reveals Himself!
As someone who uses lots of trains, the news that Dr Sang-Woo Kim of the Sung-Kyunkwan University in Seoul, South Korea has discovered a way of charging mobile phones by talking into them strikes me as more of a threat to Western civilisation than anything the late Osama bin Laden could have dreamt up.
At the moment, the technology can convert 100 decibels (about the same level as a busy road) into 50 millivolts of electricity, which isn't enough to charge a phone.
But give it time, and then won’t using public transport be fun? If, like me, you're irritated by sitting near an overly-loud, mind-numbing ‘I’m on a train . . . hello? . . . no, I said I’m on a train . . . ’ conversation, how's travel going to be remotely tolerable when there's a carriage full of half-wits screaming into their Nokias because they forgot to charge them up overnight?
Forget al-Qaeda, the electronics department of Sung-Kyunkwan University needs flattening.
Now!
At the moment, the technology can convert 100 decibels (about the same level as a busy road) into 50 millivolts of electricity, which isn't enough to charge a phone.
But give it time, and then won’t using public transport be fun? If, like me, you're irritated by sitting near an overly-loud, mind-numbing ‘I’m on a train . . . hello? . . . no, I said I’m on a train . . . ’ conversation, how's travel going to be remotely tolerable when there's a carriage full of half-wits screaming into their Nokias because they forgot to charge them up overnight?
Forget al-Qaeda, the electronics department of Sung-Kyunkwan University needs flattening.
Now!
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
Some are more equal than others...
I'm currently in Westminster, London (at the Institute of Directors), where just down the road our PM has today announced that he wants to end the 300-year-old law of royal succession which gives the eldest male child (if there is one) the right to become Monarch of the Realm.
Well, much as I agree with ridding society of unjust discrimination and antiquarian irrelevances, the leader of a government which introduced the £9,000 a year tuition fees that will probably exclude the poor from the Establishment for at least a generation, should surely be targeting something else if his often-stated claims to desire "social mobility" are to be taken seriously?
That the currently underprivileged may now have no way to lift themselves out of their deprivation for decades, it's not in any way reassuring to be told that our country's leader is working hard towards making sure that the as-yet-unborn offspring of our most pampered couple can enter the world knowing that its gender won't prevent it becoming the next unelected Head of State.
Well, much as I agree with ridding society of unjust discrimination and antiquarian irrelevances, the leader of a government which introduced the £9,000 a year tuition fees that will probably exclude the poor from the Establishment for at least a generation, should surely be targeting something else if his often-stated claims to desire "social mobility" are to be taken seriously?
That the currently underprivileged may now have no way to lift themselves out of their deprivation for decades, it's not in any way reassuring to be told that our country's leader is working hard towards making sure that the as-yet-unborn offspring of our most pampered couple can enter the world knowing that its gender won't prevent it becoming the next unelected Head of State.
Sunday, 3 April 2011
Beyond the Pale..
The BBC today reports that Fulham have become the latest football club to erect a statue outside. This famous old institution has joined the likes of Liverpool, with Bill Shankly outside Anfield, Ipswich who've got Sir Bobby Robson standing proud outside Portman Road and Leeds with Billy Bremner's arms forever raised in triumph at Elland Road by putting Michael Jackson on a pedestal.
Yep, you read that right, Wacko Jacko, the "King of Pop", a man with a history of extremely questionable behaviour, who according to the club's owner and chairman Mohammed Al Fayed, "loved Fulham and wanted to attend all of the matches". Although he only actually managed to turn up once (for a match against Wigan in 1999), Mr Al Fayed apparently thinks "it is something that I and everybody else should be proud of".
Proud?
Will the Jackson statue become more plastic as the years go by; just like the real thing?
Will it lighten over time; just like the real thing?
And will children be allowed to touch it; just like the ...
Yep, you read that right, Wacko Jacko, the "King of Pop", a man with a history of extremely questionable behaviour, who according to the club's owner and chairman Mohammed Al Fayed, "loved Fulham and wanted to attend all of the matches". Although he only actually managed to turn up once (for a match against Wigan in 1999), Mr Al Fayed apparently thinks "it is something that I and everybody else should be proud of".
Proud?
Will the Jackson statue become more plastic as the years go by; just like the real thing?
Will it lighten over time; just like the real thing?
And will children be allowed to touch it; just like the ...
Saturday, 2 April 2011
Wanted: Party Organiser for Charlie Sheen!
Many of you will do something nice for your mum this weekend, but I very much doubt that you think it qualifies as deserving of a medal. Unless of course, you're Prince Andrew. He, like me, has just spent a day in Northern Ireland. Whereas I was running a series of college workshops and visiting the HEA ICS Subject Centre, he was there as part of his role as unpaid trade ambassador, something for which he's received his latest honour for personal service to the Queen, the Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order to add to his earlier honours for the same thing, the Knight Commander of the Royal Victorian Order and the Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter.
Ten years travelling the world "representing British interests abroad", whatever that means, is not something most people outside of unelected dictatorships would consider worthy of a chest-full of medals, and is for most us, something we'd have preferred to have been an April Fool joke.
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Cereal Killing
In a little under 2 hours, I'm going to be running a scholarly activity workshop in a rural conference centre which is in the middle of many villages looking just like Causton, the setting for the Midsomer Murders television programme. This fictional location, with a murder rate higher than South Central LA during gangland shooting season, was in the news last week when one of the producers said that to include some black faces would detract from its Englishness, even though nobody could possibly think it truly indicative of country life anyway.
If Midsomer was to be representative of the daily lives of the people I passed on the twenty minute journey from Oxford station, then its characters wouldn't be committing ever-more inventive murders, they'd be getting embroiled in bitter planning disputes with farmers wanting to convert maize fields into industrial estates or trying to evict traveller families laying tarmac parking areas where the corn used to grow...
If Midsomer was to be representative of the daily lives of the people I passed on the twenty minute journey from Oxford station, then its characters wouldn't be committing ever-more inventive murders, they'd be getting embroiled in bitter planning disputes with farmers wanting to convert maize fields into industrial estates or trying to evict traveller families laying tarmac parking areas where the corn used to grow...
Tuesday, 15 March 2011
The times they aren't a changing...
With apologies to Bob Dylan
I've just taken a short detour through Trafalgar Square on the way to King's Cross (which is where I am now) to join the crowd which had gathered to look at a faulty clock!
This particular malfunctioning time piece is the OMEGA London 2012 countdown clock which is (or was an hour ago) stuck on 500 days and 7:06:56 less than a day after it was unveiled to commemorate the 500th day before next year's Games, and that tickets for the event(s) are now on sale.
Is this matter of national embarassment or an innovative and unique way of publicising that we're going to host next year's Olympics by inventing a stopped clock that isn't right twice a day?
I've just taken a short detour through Trafalgar Square on the way to King's Cross (which is where I am now) to join the crowd which had gathered to look at a faulty clock!This particular malfunctioning time piece is the OMEGA London 2012 countdown clock which is (or was an hour ago) stuck on 500 days and 7:06:56 less than a day after it was unveiled to commemorate the 500th day before next year's Games, and that tickets for the event(s) are now on sale.
Is this matter of national embarassment or an innovative and unique way of publicising that we're going to host next year's Olympics by inventing a stopped clock that isn't right twice a day?
Friday, 18 February 2011
Flowerpotty
Returning from South London where I've spent the last two days running critical & reflective thinking workshops, I shared a table on the train back into the capital with three women debating the effect of a children's character called Rastamouse on their impressionable youngsters' speech patterns.
Typical comments included such pearls of wisdom as "I’m struggling to help my two children learn to speak English and it doesn’t help when programmes such as Rastamouse are aired on CBeebies," and "I'll be proper angry if my children start beginning every sentence with the word “me”."
I'd like to have had the social skills to join in and point out that there are different dialects on TV all the time, none of which can compete with the influence of a child's home environment, but having been brought up with Bill and Ben, I'm one of a generation that's been held back because none of us can start a sentence without going "flobbleswobbledobbledeplob"....
Typical comments included such pearls of wisdom as "I’m struggling to help my two children learn to speak English and it doesn’t help when programmes such as Rastamouse are aired on CBeebies," and "I'll be proper angry if my children start beginning every sentence with the word “me”."
I'd like to have had the social skills to join in and point out that there are different dialects on TV all the time, none of which can compete with the influence of a child's home environment, but having been brought up with Bill and Ben, I'm one of a generation that's been held back because none of us can start a sentence without going "flobbleswobbledobbledeplob"....
Monday, 14 February 2011
It'll be all Rite on the night
I'm just back from two weeks in the USA where the current box office number one film is a horror movie called The Rite starring Anthony Hopkins who's been given the job of training a sceptical young priest in the casting out of demons, a role which US Airway's in-flight magazine says is based on a Californian priest called Father Gary Thomas.
Reproducing a Catholic World interview with the "Official Exorcist for the Diocese of San Jose", we get to know that there are about 500,000 exorcisms annually in Italy (yes, you read that right: 10, 000 a week ! ), that there's been an increase in demonic possessions lately and it's all the fault of the Internet, and the utterly bizarre claim that the Catholic Church has "a rite that’s recognized, even by the demons, as legitimate", with no explanation as to why (or how) they'd agree to any sort of framework.
Now I don't know about you, but I just love the idea of Beelzebub's hordes examining the rites of the Catholic Church, assessing them, and agreeing that: yes, those are indeed legitimate.
Got me wondering whether these nasty old demons are supposed to have appointed representatives, simply taken a majority vote, or if the Church got feedback as part of some iterative process until the final version was sanctioned as binding?
Reproducing a Catholic World interview with the "Official Exorcist for the Diocese of San Jose", we get to know that there are about 500,000 exorcisms annually in Italy (yes, you read that right: 10, 000 a week ! ), that there's been an increase in demonic possessions lately and it's all the fault of the Internet, and the utterly bizarre claim that the Catholic Church has "a rite that’s recognized, even by the demons, as legitimate", with no explanation as to why (or how) they'd agree to any sort of framework.
Now I don't know about you, but I just love the idea of Beelzebub's hordes examining the rites of the Catholic Church, assessing them, and agreeing that: yes, those are indeed legitimate.
Got me wondering whether these nasty old demons are supposed to have appointed representatives, simply taken a majority vote, or if the Church got feedback as part of some iterative process until the final version was sanctioned as binding?
Friday, 21 January 2011
Text, Replies and Videotape
I'm currently sat in Piccadilly station waiting for my train home after running a critical thinking workshop for history lecturers and watching dozens of would-be Cathy Marrero impersonators, oblivious to the world around them, stepping out onto roads, colliding in the street, and obstructing the path of other commuters.
Cathy Marrero? She's the soon-to-be very famous shopper described in this morning's free paper as "taking a tumble" into a mall fountain while texting on her mobile, and is now taking the shopping complex in Wyomissing, Pennsylvania to court because nobody went to see if she was ok until after she'd left.
Ms Marrero claims she was texting a friend from church who wanted to know her birthday, but didn't elaborate on why she had the urge to read/respond at once.
Was this friend doing a quiz?
Was it a secret question password prompt?
Complaining about the security staff's laughter on the Youtube footage, the text-walker said ‘What if it was a senior citizen, would it be so funny then?’
Watch here and decide for yourself...
Cathy Marrero? She's the soon-to-be very famous shopper described in this morning's free paper as "taking a tumble" into a mall fountain while texting on her mobile, and is now taking the shopping complex in Wyomissing, Pennsylvania to court because nobody went to see if she was ok until after she'd left.
Ms Marrero claims she was texting a friend from church who wanted to know her birthday, but didn't elaborate on why she had the urge to read/respond at once.
Was this friend doing a quiz?
Was it a secret question password prompt?
Complaining about the security staff's laughter on the Youtube footage, the text-walker said ‘What if it was a senior citizen, would it be so funny then?’
Watch here and decide for yourself...
Tuesday, 4 January 2011
The tooth (the old tooth), and nothing...
While looking for pictures of today's partial eclipse to use with tomorrow's critical thinking workshop, I found a news story on the BBC website that "Humankind's oldest known ancestor probably lived in fear of several large sabretooth cats".
Since these "cats" had only a minimal resemblance to next door's tabby sparrow chaser, and were actually about half a tonne of solid muscle with razor-sharp incisors the size of bread knives, "probably lived in fear" is the early winner of PWL's New Year Award for Stating the Obvious ...
Since these "cats" had only a minimal resemblance to next door's tabby sparrow chaser, and were actually about half a tonne of solid muscle with razor-sharp incisors the size of bread knives, "probably lived in fear" is the early winner of PWL's New Year Award for Stating the Obvious ...
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